Interwoven

I am finding the necessity of having Him in every aspect of my life. I must take the time to dissect my life, to unravel the interwoven motives and actions that make up my life. I have to think. I have to be alert as I walk it out, asking the Holy Spirit to prompt me when I stray off on my own. That is my natural instinct, being a clueless sheep. Somehow I have ingrained in me that there are certain "God" activities and certain "Godless" activities. Leisure, for example. I can watch a movie, eat popcorn and be with Him at the same time! I can go to work, have a busy day, and be with Him, relish His presence, the whole day.

I am learning how to speak with Him, to weave His presence in all activities, to "practice the presence of God". It is another opportunity for Him to display His glory but only if I lay myself down. I must not look to earn favor myself, to manipulate circumstances- what is required of me but to have the attitude: "nothing to prove, nothing to lose". (Chuck Swindoll) When I lay aside my motives and gain His attitudes and ideas, things make sense, they compute. I do not toil in vain. Every deed done, every word spoken has meaning.

Oh but what an undertaking, taking apart this huge fabrication I have constructed. I must painfully disassemble this monstrosity that is my will and search motives, find the flesh in there, rip it out and ask Him to His weave His spirit in there. Ask Him to take what is dry and dead and breathe life and power. Oh how I look forward to having Him weave His will in with mine. Only then will my calling be fulfilled and in this is joy forevermore. The reason I am here. Thank you for your patience, my dear friend. I am stubborn but I will not relent, for you have captured my heart.