Interwoven

I am finding the necessity of having Him in every aspect of my life. I must take the time to dissect my life, to unravel the interwoven motives and actions that make up my life. I have to think. I have to be alert as I walk it out, asking the Holy Spirit to prompt me when I stray off on my own. That is my natural instinct, being a clueless sheep. Somehow I have ingrained in me that there are certain "God" activities and certain "Godless" activities. Leisure, for example. I can watch a movie, eat popcorn and be with Him at the same time! I can go to work, have a busy day, and be with Him, relish His presence, the whole day.

I am learning how to speak with Him, to weave His presence in all activities, to "practice the presence of God". It is another opportunity for Him to display His glory but only if I lay myself down. I must not look to earn favor myself, to manipulate circumstances- what is required of me but to have the attitude: "nothing to prove, nothing to lose". (Chuck Swindoll) When I lay aside my motives and gain His attitudes and ideas, things make sense, they compute. I do not toil in vain. Every deed done, every word spoken has meaning.

Oh but what an undertaking, taking apart this huge fabrication I have constructed. I must painfully disassemble this monstrosity that is my will and search motives, find the flesh in there, rip it out and ask Him to His weave His spirit in there. Ask Him to take what is dry and dead and breathe life and power. Oh how I look forward to having Him weave His will in with mine. Only then will my calling be fulfilled and in this is joy forevermore. The reason I am here. Thank you for your patience, my dear friend. I am stubborn but I will not relent, for you have captured my heart.

Hands and Feet

I am so thankful, Jesus. You meet me in so many ways. Through your word, through my time in stillness with you, through books, and tonight through your hands and feet. I go to get groceries and you meet me through a true brother and sister- my family. My family. Our family. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for your people. Your love endures forever and your faithfulness is everlasting.

Thankful

I just want to thank every person who has been praying for me. I am tired but in good spirits tonight. I had such peace going through every phase today and still do. His constant presence with me through this has birthed such a gratitude for His mercy and faithfulness. I would ask that those who were praying would continue to do so for Shana and I. I am living proof that your prayers do not go unanswered. Thank you church for showing a living example of how the body of Christ should work. You are my family.

Ephesians 6:10 Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his might.

I am learning what He requires of me. To lay bear all that is in me. To reach into the depths of my heart and investigate myself and examine carefully my wants, dreams, motives and purge it all at His feet. Give up what I think are my rights. Only then can I "be strong in the strength of his might".

Matthew Henry on Ephesians 6:10

"If Christians be soldiers of Jesus Christ,
I. They must see that they be stout-hearted. This is prescribed here: Be strong in the Lord, etc. Those who have so many battles to fight, and who, in their way to heaven, must dispute every pass, with dint of sword, have need of a great deal of courage. Be strong therefore, strong for service, strong for suffering, strong for fighting. Let a soldier be ever so well armed without, if he have not within a good heart, his armour will stand him in little stead. Note, spiritual strength and courage are very necessary for our spiritual warfare. Be strong in the Lord, either in his cause and for his sake or rather in his strength. We have no sufficient strength of our own. Our natural courage is as perfect cowardice, and our natural strength as perfect weakness; but all our sufficiency is of God. In his strength we must go forth and go on. By the actings of faith, we must fetch in grace and help from heaven to enable us to do that which of ourselves we cannot do, in our Christian work and warfare. We should stir up ourselves to resist temptations in a reliance upon God's all-sufficiency and the omnipotence of his might."

Spiritual Warfare

I have learned of spiritual warfare for years. I've heard the Ephesians "Armor of God" passage so many times. Over this these past months, God is showing me the necessity of putting on this armor. God has a plan for me- so, also, does the devil. I've never experienced warfare like I have lately, yet I am not beaten. There will be suffering, there will be pain and struggle, yet I am not overcome. God, in His boundless mercy, has shown me what I must do and in this process I am closer to my Savior then I have ever been. In this absolute dependence comes daily renewed strength and mercy I cannot describe. Thank you, my Lord.